Divorced AND Loved

Are you divorced? widowed? never-married? Do you have days of loneliness?

Several years ago I was in a book study group and the question came up, “Who is the one person in this world who thinks of you as their #1?” I was recently divorced at that time – a raw emotional canvas – and that question hit me hard. Without a spouse I felt like I was nobody’s number one!

I am a journaling maniac, and that question provided motivation for a week of writing! I wrote about how it feels to be independent when I really wanted someone to depend on. I wrote about senior citizen friends who have been widowed for many years, and the hole I imagine they feel. I wrote about girlfriends and how that reliable bond is so valuable but being “one of the girls” isn’t the same as being “somebody’s number one.”

Over time the pains of divorce – rejection, regret and anger – have healed. Today I know who thinks of me as their number one – it’s God, and me. I know myself and I like what I know! The screen saver on my laptop says, “I am God’s favorite.” While that’s a light-hearted message that makes me smile, I believe it! I am so blessed with great people in my life, meaningful work, and plenty of sunsets to renew my spirit.

Are you up for that question today? Who thinks of you as their number one?