Have you ever tried whistling when you feel grumpy? I can’t do it.

Do you feel grumpy while you’re whistling? See my point?

When I whistle, my mood lightens and I feel better. The same thing happens when I say something genuinely complimentary to a person I’m angry with. Or, when I offer a prayer of gratitude for a challenge I’m facing.

Doing the OPPOSITE causes a shift within me, and OPENS me up to think outside my own little box. My feelings often follow my actions.

Think out of your rut into a new positive place – Whistle While You Work!

I’ve been thinking about my BARE NECESSITIES for living a joy filled life.

You know that Chicago has been hit with a big snowstorm. I’m stranded – with only enough food to last about a month, and the temperature in my house hovering right around 73 degrees. My only contact with the outside world is television, telephone, email and lots of Facebook. Are these my bare necessities for joy?

Seriously, today’s snow and this little song helped me think about how to be really joyful – even when an annoyance or FULL BLOWN TROUBLE – comes my way. Do you have anything in your life today that could be categorized as a problem – even bigger trouble than a snowstorm? Test that problem with this coaching exercise:

1. What are you thinking about your life this week? Write it down.
2. What do you understand about your problem? Write it down.
3. Now evaluate each statement you wrote. Are they all REALLY TRUE? Cross off any that are not REALLY true.
4. Which statements are ESPECIALLY, ABSOLUTELY, UNARGUABLY TRUE? Give those statements a circle, or better yet, a big star!

When I took time to write about a problem I’m living with right now, I saw that I am thinking and saying some stuff that’s really not true. It’s easy to over-generalize, and to imagine the worst. I’m going to stop thinking and saying those things!

In addition, this exercise made me very clear about FACTS related to my problem. 1)My problem is not bigger than the good parts of my life. 2)Some decisions become easy when I remember my values. 3)Solutions can generally be found, especially with the help of a new perspective. Confidence in those facts helps me redefine my BARE NECESSITIES.

I feel good knowing that my bare necessities are in place. That awareness – and singing along with Baloo – increases my joy!

Clearer now,

Coach Diane

It’s new Year’s Eve! Thank you for walking with me every day this week in my quest to Feel Better Before 2011. It worked for me!

Today’s final tip is the core that makes me feel better in my life, and truly gives me JOY!

Happy New Year!

DAY 5 – GO BIGGER
Look at the Big Picture of your life. Your life is more than the clutter in the kitchen, or a few extra pounds gained, or the stack of work on your desk, or the job you’ve lost, or the fight you had with your kid, or the marriage that seems to be headed for divorce.

GO BIGGER and know that you were created by God with a personality unlike anyone else. The greatest praise we give God is to be fully, exuberantly who He made us to be! How will you do that? Get to know yourself. See clearly the wonderful aspects of you, and make them HUGE! Be honest with yourself about tendencies that aren’t helpful – We all have a few, Plan to change them.

Lots of people will cross your path in 2011 and, if you’re open, they will stretch you. Choose to meet creative people with ideas for you to ponder, energetic people with contagious enthusiasm, and kind people who care deeply about others. You are going to have a great year!

Did we succeed? Do you Feel Better Before 2011? The QUICK CONCRETE THINKING below will help you start being “fully, exuberantly who God made you to be!” And then, if you’re really serious about this, I would love to talk with you in a 50 minute INDIVIDUAL COACHING SESSION. With just one short phone call, you will take the next step to gain clarity about yourself, your life situation, and your New Year. Click here to read the details of this limited coaching offer.

TODAY’S QUICK CONCRETE THINKING

The Parts of Me that I Like:

My Tendencies that I Don’t Like:

Creative People I Know:

Energetic People I Know:

Kind People I Know:

Watch for a new coaching program, “Feel Better about My Life” coming in February, 2011.

SURPRISE!

Did that get your attention? Did you expect something different?

Pondering what to write about this morning I started with “gratitude” because I feel better when I remember the cool blessings in my life. Then I considered “help someone” since getting out of myself always makes me feel better. But I settled on “SURPRISE!” because it’s the quickest shot-in-the-arm I know of to boost my mood. And it’s FUN!

DAY 4 – SURPRISE!
What do you never expect to see yourself doing, wearing, or eating? Go to an animated movie all alone, right now. Wear a hat to the grocery store, right now. Eat tapioca pudding. (OK, I’m not so sure about the tapioca.) Feel alive. Recognize that you can make an “out-of-the-box” decision for yourself – RIGHT NOW! Crack yourself up a little bit – SURPRISE!

Sometimes we bemoan the fact that “Nobody ever surprises me with anything nice.” Get out of that victim mode and be joyful! Do something unusual and spontaneous right now! You will Feel Better Before 2011. In fact, with a great surprise, you may find yourself chuckling in the next few minutes!

Ocean waves crashing onto the shore are powerful, quick, strong energy! Yet, at the same time, my image of waves is refreshing and light. I love waves!

Yesterday I ate my way through those cookies that were cluttering up my kitchen countertop. Now the counter is clean but extra cookies, in addition to those four feasts in three days, have left me feeling anything BUT light, quick, and energetic.

What will help me Feel Better Before 2011?

 DAY 3 – THINK WATER
Focus today on drinking water. When you feel like grabbing a cookie or a bag of chips choose a tall glass of water. When you’re bored at your desk, have some water. Begin a meal with water, and then enjoy the flavors of your food. Instead of ordering a Coke, ask for water with lemon. You don’t have to do this forever, but try it for one day – TODAY.

Eating too much makes me sluggish, heavy, and low on energy. I want to feel light, quick, and energetic. I’m not going to think of this as a “diet” and feel deprived. I just want to be more like those ocean waves. One day of focus will help. I will Feel Better Before 2011!

The problem with being wired this way comes at clean up time. I see half-full ribbon rolls, stacks of Christmas plates, three patterns of napkins, and dozens of extra cookies in Tupperware boxes. On December 28th my abundance tendency has caused clutter that paralyzes me. Where shall I begin?

DAY 2 – CLEAN UP
Clear off ONE kitchen countertop, or ONE table, or shovel presents and toys out of ONE corner of your family room. When the whole house has been a celebration, the clutter can be overwhelming. Today is the day to make JUST ONE area in your home clear and clean. Then step back, admire your accomplishment, and feel ORGANIZED, CALM and SETTLED. Celebrate those feelings – but celebrate without making another mess!

I am wishing you a burst of energy today to clean up one area of your home. Perhaps that one area will provide a sanctuary of peace for you. We need that! Please post your comments, and share this with your messy friends! 
Two days down – Three more to go. We will Feel Better Before 2011!

Now you can READ the clever sign! “Make JOY in your life rouTEAn” is from Helga and Co. Click to check it out!

So I grabbed a pen and my journal. It didn’t take many paragraphs of rambling to figure out that my joy had been stolen by Post Christmas Reality. All of the anticipation, meaningful traditions, and celebrations are done. Now I’m left with a messy house, bills to pay, and indigestion from eating four feasts in three days. I just glanced at my computer to see 179 unread emails. Yes, reality has hit.

Have you heard that a problem identified is half solved? Well, that’s how I feel now and it’s energizing to understand myself. I’ve decided that every day this week I will to do one thing to attack these dismal feelings. I’m determined to Feel Better Before 2011. Here’s the first tip:

DAY 1 – WALK
Get outside and walk in the fresh air. Breathe deeply. Let tension drift out of your neck and shoulders. Walk briskly. Or walk slowly, enjoying the sights. Love this moment! When you start to worry about what you need to do after your walk, STOP THAT THOUGHT. Focus instead on something right here – right now, like the sound of your own footsteps, or the smell of the air. Don’t stew about memories – unless they are pleasant memories!

Are you with me? Are you feeling a little bit of Post Christmas Reality too? Will you join me each day this week as I post a short blog with an EASY tip? Please read with me, post your additions and comments, and invite your friends along too!
We’re on our way to Feel Better Before 2011!

Making a decision to claim joy, even when life is challenging, is a skill. During a particularly difficult time in my life I learned that joy is different from mere happiness. Happiness is a fickle emotion that comes and goes like the wind, but joy rises above mood and circumstances. Joy comes from living life with intentionality. Here are a few practical tips to intentionally claim joy.

SENSORY EXPERIENCES
Pay attention to all the things you can sense because you have been given eyes, ears, fingertips, a nose, and a tongue. Don’t allow yourself to take sensory experiences for granted. The next time you smell something wonderful, stop, and smell it again!

LAUGHTER
Laughter is like internal aerobics. Circulation and heart rate are improved, and blood pressure is lowered. What makes you laugh these days? Is it being in the company of a silly child? Figure out what – or who – pushes you to laugh, and then giggle, chuckle, and guffaw!

NATURE
The natural world generates joy. Take yourself to a place where you can be surrounded by birds, trees, butterflies, plants, or moving water. Look long and hard at one, single, glorious thing, like a flower or the moon, until you learn to be in love with your life again.

MUSIC
Music moves the soul and changes the mood. I have one music playlist labeled “Can’t Sit Still” and that’s just what it does for me. It makes me tap my toe and before you know it, I’m dancing around the house. (I don’t recommend this while driving a car.) Burn a CD or create an I-pod playlist that you absolutely love, and then play it LOUDLY!

SANCTUARY
A sanctuary is a place where I keep my sanity in times of confusion and my hope in times of despair. It’s where I go when not much else makes sense. It’s my “still point” in a fast turning world. In my own life, I have a favorite patch of grass under a big tree. Sometimes I go there alone to read and write. Some days I meet a friend there to share a sandwich. Whenever I return to this place I feel peace and joy. Where will you go for sanctuary?

With a functional flusher we enjoy the luxury of merely flicking the silver handle on a toilet and -wha-la! – seeing a magical exchange of water in the toilet bowl. However, when the flusher is broken, as in my story here, a flick of the handle brings only a dismal click, and nothing else.

When this happened at my house I, being the resourceful person that I am, removed the lid cover and manually pulled the rubber disk up for each flush. Yes, the water was cold and sometimes my sleeves were too long, but it worked for me. The problem was with my 16 year old daughter. She thought it was gross to stick her hand in a toilet, even if the water was clean. So I put a plier nearby and she fished to catch the little chain, and pulled it without getting her hand wet. This system continued for three weeks.

Until today when I decided that I would address this situation head-on, and fix the flusher. So I trekked off on a mission, to Home Depot.

Do you have any idea how many different types of flushers exist? I was fortunate to meet a new friend, Jasper, who works in plumbing at Home Depot, and is extremely knowledgeable about the configurations and benefits of each model. He explained front mount, side mount, universal mount, and also metal verses plastic composition. Less than $5 later I was happily on my way home to begin installation.

Now for some of you, repairing a toilet may be old hat. You would probably never give such a repair enough thought as to write an article about your experience. But for me, this was an accomplishment. I was truly ecstatic when the new flusher fit, and it worked! The sound of that first flush was happy music to me. I wanted to celebrate. And celebrate I did.

When my daughter came home from school I led her into the bathroom, and instructed her to flick the handle. She smiled. Then she spotted a package of Oreo cookies and two mugs of milk on the back of the toilet. I said, “This is a new flusher party!” She gave me an appalled glance of humiliation and disgust that every parent of a teenager has seen, and she said, “Mom, this is really weird.” But then, her eyes twinkled and she laughed out loud. We both laughed as we stood in the bathroom dunking Oreos in our milk.

So, what can a broken flusher and a bathroom party of Oreos teach us about life? Things in life break – flushers, promises, relationships, and dreams. And we don’t like it when that happens. We live with inconvenience, or agony, for awhile. But then someone like Jasper gives us a hand. It might be a friend, a pastor, or a life coach who brings a fresh eye to help us see the options that are before us. My favorite time in coaching is when a client experiences an “ah-ha” moment, and sees their own situation in a new light, from a perspective they’ve not taken before. That opens the door for change.

And, I love a celebration! My clients and I celebrate together in nearly every call. Because when you’re looking for good in life, you see it. Little successes, like a new flusher, give us hope, and change attitudes which begin to change life – for the better.

If you have had to live through some broken pieces of life, please contact me. I will be honored to walk with you through the repair and healing. Together we will find the energy to address your situation, secure the new pieces you need, and celebrate progress. You will learn to keep your eyes open for little successes and celebrate them. It will make you smile.