Find Joy This Summer

Enjoy Summer by Claiming Joy

Making a decision to claim joy, even when life is challenging, is a skill. During a particularly difficult time in my life I learned that joy is different from mere happiness. Happiness is a fickle emotion that comes and goes like the wind, but joy rises above mood and circumstances. Joy comes from living life with intentionality. Here are a few practical tips to intentionally claim joy.

SENSORY EXPERIENCES
Pay attention to all the things you can sense because you have been given eyes, ears, fingertips, a nose, and a tongue. Don’t allow yourself to take sensory experiences for granted. The next time you smell something wonderful, stop, and smell it again!

LAUGHTER
Laughter is like internal aerobics. Circulation and heart rate are improved, and blood pressure is lowered. What makes you laugh these days? Is it being in the company of a silly child? Figure out what – or who – pushes you to laugh, and then giggle, chuckle, and guffaw!

NATURE
The natural world generates joy. Take yourself to a place where you can be surrounded by birds, trees, butterflies, plants, or moving water. Look long and hard at one, single, glorious thing, like a flower or the moon, until you learn to be in love with your life again.

MUSIC
Music moves the soul and changes the mood. I have one music playlist labeled “Can’t Sit Still” and that’s just what it does for me. It makes me tap my toe and before you know it, I’m dancing around the house. (I don’t recommend this while driving a car.) Burn a CD or create an I-pod playlist that you absolutely love, and then play it LOUDLY!

SANCTUARY
A sanctuary is a place where I keep my sanity in times of confusion and my hope in times of despair. It’s where I go when not much else makes sense. It’s my “still point” in a fast turning world. In my own life, I have a favorite patch of grass under a big tree. Sometimes I go there alone to read and write. Some days I meet a friend there to share a sandwich. Whenever I return to this place I feel peace and joy. Where will you go for sanctuary?

Can There Really Be JOY During a Divorce?

That’s a fair question! The question was asked last month in the Joy During Divorce? coaching call. “Can I really FIND JOY these days, or is it just making life ‘not-so-bad’ for awhile?”

I’ve been thinking about that question ever since, and trying to honestly remember the days when divorce was constantly on my mind. The memories of pain are vivid. But was there also joy during those months? Thankfully, I’m a journaling nut and I write about everything – constantly! So, today I pulled out my journal from 2007.

One of the most joyful things I did – as I was thinking about the dramatic life change heading my way – was to write about “My Ideal Self.”  Who am I when I am at my best? What do I do for fun, when the choice is mine alone? What deep inner strengths and gifts did God put inside of me? This was a powerful exercise for me that began to shape me and my new life ahead.

This may sound hokey – but it’s true - that just re-reading these pages today is making my heart light! It’s making me smile inside… and even a little bit outside! Divorce pushed me to get to know myself in a whole new way – and I love what I found. I am a person who treasures playfulness and surprises. Sitting still, listening to birds, and watching clouds gives me incredible energy. Deep, meaningful conversation inspires me to care more, love more, and work more diligently to make a difference.

So is that joy? Yes, I think it is! It’s definitely more than living days that “just aren’t that bad.” For me, the process of divorce was agonizing - so many decisions, compromises, changes, fears, hurts, and regrets. But each new day brings new hope. Grab onto your future, and get ready for a joyful time ahead!

From Broken Flusher to Celebration

Have you ever had a broken flusher on your toilet? A good friend informed me that “flusher” is not the American Standard official term for this part of a toilet, but I’m confident you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the long piece inside a toilet tank, attaching the handle to a chain to trip the rubber disk, and release water in a successful flush. It is an integral part of a toilet!

With a functional flusher we enjoy the luxury of merely flicking the silver handle on a toilet and -wha-la! – seeing a magical exchange of water in the toilet bowl. However, when the flusher is broken, as in my story here, a flick of the handle brings only a dismal click, and nothing else.

When this happened at my house I, being the resourceful person that I am, removed the lid cover and manually pulled the rubber disk up for each flush. Yes, the water was cold and sometimes my sleeves were too long, but it worked for me. The problem was with my 16 year old daughter. She thought it was gross to stick her hand in a toilet, even if the water was clean. So I put a plier nearby and she fished to catch the little chain, and pulled it without getting her hand wet. This system continued for three weeks.

Until today when I decided that I would address this situation head-on, and fix the flusher. So I trekked off on a mission, to Home Depot.

Do you have any idea how many different types of flushers exist? I was fortunate to meet a new friend, Jasper, who works in plumbing at Home Depot, and is extremely knowledgeable about the configurations and benefits of each model. He explained front mount, side mount, universal mount, and also metal verses plastic composition. Less than $5 later I was happily on my way home to begin installation.

Now for some of you, repairing a toilet may be old hat. You would probably never give such a repair enough thought as to write an article about your experience. But for me, this was an accomplishment. I was truly ecstatic when the new flusher fit, and it worked! The sound of that first flush was happy music to me. I wanted to celebrate. And celebrate I did.

When my daughter came home from school I led her into the bathroom, and instructed her to flick the handle. She smiled. Then she spotted a package of Oreo cookies and two mugs of milk on the back of the toilet. I said, “This is a new flusher party!” She gave me an appalled glance of humiliation and disgust that every parent of a teenager has seen, and she said, “Mom, this is really weird.” But then, her eyes twinkled and she laughed out loud. We both laughed as we stood in the bathroom dunking Oreos in our milk.

So, what can a broken flusher and a bathroom party of Oreos teach us about life? Things in life break – flushers, promises, relationships, and dreams. And we don’t like it when that happens. We live with inconvenience, or agony, for awhile. But then someone like Jasper gives us a hand. It might be a friend, a pastor, or a life coach who brings a fresh eye to help us see the options that are before us. My favorite time in coaching is when a client experiences an “ah-ha” moment, and sees their own situation in a new light, from a perspective they’ve not taken before. That opens the door for change.

And, I love a celebration! My clients and I celebrate together in nearly every call. Because when you’re looking for good in life, you see it. Little successes, like a new flusher, give us hope, and change attitudes which begin to change life – for the better.

If you have had to live through some broken pieces of life, please contact me. I will be honored to walk with you through the repair and healing. Together we will find the energy to address your situation, secure the new pieces you need, and celebrate progress. You will learn to keep your eyes open for little successes and celebrate them. It will make you smile.