Can There Really Be JOY During a Divorce?

That’s a fair question! The question was asked last month in the Joy During Divorce? coaching call. “Can I really FIND JOY these days, or is it just making life ‘not-so-bad’ for awhile?”

I’ve been thinking about that question ever since, and trying to honestly remember the days when divorce was constantly on my mind. The memories of pain are vivid. But was there also joy during those months? Thankfully, I’m a journaling nut and I write about everything – constantly! So, today I pulled out my journal from 2007.

One of the most joyful things I did – as I was thinking about the dramatic life change heading my way – was to write about “My Ideal Self.”  Who am I when I am at my best? What do I do for fun, when the choice is mine alone? What deep inner strengths and gifts did God put inside of me? This was a powerful exercise for me that began to shape me and my new life ahead.

This may sound hokey – but it’s true - that just re-reading these pages today is making my heart light! It’s making me smile inside… and even a little bit outside! Divorce pushed me to get to know myself in a whole new way – and I love what I found. I am a person who treasures playfulness and surprises. Sitting still, listening to birds, and watching clouds gives me incredible energy. Deep, meaningful conversation inspires me to care more, love more, and work more diligently to make a difference.

So is that joy? Yes, I think it is! It’s definitely more than living days that “just aren’t that bad.” For me, the process of divorce was agonizing - so many decisions, compromises, changes, fears, hurts, and regrets. But each new day brings new hope. Grab onto your future, and get ready for a joyful time ahead!